Happy Monday all!
Lately I’ve been feeling a little stuck about various aspects of my life. I know there is more that I could do with my life but I’ve grown complacent and stagnant. To help me break out of this cycle, I’ve decided to make small but impactful changes to achieve my goals. Making change is probably one of the hardest things we can do as human beings. As we all know change is easier said than done so here are a few tips to I’ve been using to help me in my journey. If you’re looking to make some changes, I hope they can help you too!
Have a wonderful day!
- What Do You Want To Change: The key word here is “you”. You are the change agent and writer of your own story. Look within yourself to decide what you want. I would strongly suggest not seeking outside opinions about what you need to change. You don’t need anyone to validate or approve of your journey.
- Get Help: One of the things I want to change is my view of being single. If you had asked me at 30 if I would be married with children at 46, I would’ve said “Hell yeah!” but unfortunately not all our plans come to fruition. I realize that this particular battle isn’t one I can do alone so I’m heading back to therapy to learn how to cope positively with being single. Admitting you need help is one of the most positive things you can do for yourself.
- Silence The Inner Critic: Changing certain things about our lives can be difficult and require a lot of work. During this time its hard not to succumb to self criticism. Beating ourselves up about our process can lead to feelings of giving up. While having some doubt is normal, don’t allow yourself to mire in it.
- Be About It: Changing your life is a personal and private decision. You don’t have to announce “Hey world I’m changing my life!”. Like Nike says…JUST DO IT. People will catch on and notice you are changing.
- Take Your Time: Changing your life doesn’t have to be immediate or drastic. Think of making change as a race, not a sprint. If it takes you years to change something about yourself then so be it.
Jacket: Eloquii (here)
Skirt: Who What Wear Collection (not available, similar here and here)
T-Shirt: JCPenney (old, similar here and here)
Sneakers: Old Navy (here)
Earrings: Bauble Bar (not available, similar here and here)
You are as gorgeous as ever, and thank you for sharing this story! I decided as part of my new years resolution that I need to change, too. I am putting me first, and it’s working well, so far. Best of luck with it all!
You are a beautiful and intelligent woman. The changes will come.
I have the same struggle with being single as you do. This post validated my feelings and my focus moving forward. Thank you! Much success on your journey.
I love what you said about not needing to announce it. I went through a style/identity shift a few years ago and sort of felt like I needed to tell people about why I was doing it…but I don’t/didn’t. It’s ok to just change in the ways that you need without owing anyone an explanation.
Re: being single – when I was in my last year of high school, I had this amazing English teacher who I thought was just so smart, gorgeous, highly educated, stylish, with a wry dark sense of humour, and I really looked up to her both as my teacher and just as a really cool adult. She was in her 40’s and single, and I had this epiphany: if someone like Dr.____ is single in her 40’s, then it’s completely possible to be an incredible person and also be single. Being single does not have anything to do with your worth, and a relationship is not a prize given only to those who deserve it. That thought helped me move into adulthood with a fairly secure view on being single. I don’t know if it is helpful for you at all but just wanted to share.
I don’t think the desire for self-improvement ever changes throughout our lives. It is a good thing to take stock of things as we go along and make changes as they suit our new feelings. Good luck and keep us posted!
I am in a different place in life, run ragged from caregiving. This situation won’t change for a while. I want change. This is not how my life was meant to be. I wake up and wonder what disaster this day will bring, and there are plenty: falls, various assorted health crises, trips to doctors and emergency rooms in blizzards at night, and dealing with too many snarky, egoistic health “professionals”.
This is where all change comes from: when you see a discord, and do not accept the discord. I do not need to be put down by people who think too highly of themselves. I am a good person. I deserve better. I had a life once. Where I am and what I have to do now is not by choice.
Change is coming, alright, and this tiger is about to bite back. This tiger has teeth. Hear me roar!
I agree with you, stopping waiting for the perfect time to go after your dreams anld do it now. It doesn’t have to be a big step, but even a little steps add up eventually. As for your outfit, I LOVE IT SO MUCH! Yes, your outfit deserved some caplock
Thank you for sharing and for such an inspirational post! Although I am not single, I don’t have children, and would like to point out being single and being childless are two different things. Each has its +/- and those in either or both categories, by choice or by circumstance, may need to work harder so she or he can make the best of it. I fear for many she or he often feel pressured by family or society for being on a non-traditional path, or pressure themselves.
However, what is most important is we realize and appreciate our similarities and differences and learn to make the best of them. Self-criticism is harmful to the psyche, we cannot truly love others or allow others to love us if we do not love ourselves!
I thoroughly enjoy your sense of fashion and love seeing the gorgeous outfits you put together, but when you share your personal struggles and success is what keeps me coming back to your blogs.
xoxo
Hi,
thank you so much for this post. I know these words are true and am going through something similar in my own experience. It’s nice to know we’re all in this together, even if we are alone and on our own paths.
Thank you for this post. I need continual reminders of this (and I’m 60). I never had children, either, though I did find a wonderful man to marry–he’s 7 years younger than I am, but when we married it didn’t seem such a big age difference. So don’t forget to look at men who are younger than you but still mature in their outlooks.
I love the outfit you have on today; it’s so fun. I want to try long skirts, and I’ve bought one, but I haven’t been brave enough to venture out in it yet. Maybe in another week. At any rate, you’ve inspired me.