Love, Loss & “This Is Us”

TGIF all!

“This Is Us” should be banned.  Yup, you read that right….banned. Why you ask? Because the sole purpose of NBC’s freshman dramedy is to make you break down sobbing after every episode.  The show makes you care about this fictional family so much you forget they aren’t real.  It’s the first show in a long time where I’ve liked all the characters.  The acting (especially Sterling K. Brown’s Randall!) is superb and Milo Ventimiglia’s character Jack makes me wish he was my husband.  Although I try not to cry, by the end of the episode I can’t hold back.  The story line between characters Randall and his dying biological father William has deeply resonated with me.  Watching them transports me back to the Fall of 1999 when my mom died. On the show,  Randall is able to spend time with his ailing father and say goodbye to him.  Unfortunately  my mother passed in her sleep so I didn’t have the opportunity to say goodbye.  Watching their relationship unfold brought up the regret I’ve harbored about not saying goodbye to my mother.  I’ve always felt some level of guilt about not being there when she passed.   I know this sounds corny but this story line has been cathartic for me in resolving that regret.  While I didn’t have the chance to say goodbye,  my mother knew I loved her unconditionally.  As much as I wanted to be there, I know she was thinking of her children and she carried  that love with her until the end.   Like William’s character on the show, my mother was severely ill too. I know  she hated being sick and so I’m able to take some comfort in knowing her passing ceased the suffering she had endured.  Watching Randall and William’s characters on “This Is Us” allows me to grieve openly and not feel bad for not “getting over” her death.  I allow myself to feel the lasting affects of my mom’s passing but it also lets me celebrate her too.  Remembering her doesn’t always mean tears.  My memories of my mother often make me smile, laugh and love her even more.  It’s in those moments I feel so privileged to have her as my mother.

So if you’re looking for a new TV show, I highly recommend you binge watch “This Is Us” with a big ole box of Kleenex. You gonna need it!

Have a wonderful weekend!

 

 

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4 Comments

  1. Regina
    February 24, 2017 / 12:05 pm

    Thanks for sharing. I love “This is us” and agree wholeheartedly with your assessment of the show. I’m glad that the show is providing you the opportunity to deal with the loss of your mother and not being able to say goodbye.

  2. February 24, 2017 / 5:07 pm

    My dad died in 1998, he went into the hospital right after my birthday in January and never left, passed in March. This show has also been cathartic for me, bringing up all the feelings and memories, but it has put a more… positive spin on it all. I love the show so much, I was so ugly crying this week!

  3. February 24, 2017 / 7:37 pm

    Ironically, I didn’t love the show initially but, it grew on me quickly and I cried myself to sleep after this weeks episode. I lost my mom in Feb. 2015 and lost my dad in Feb 2016. Talking about the worst year ever! I was extremely close to both of them. I was with my mom as she took her last breath and so watching the show brought back wonderful and sad memories of losing her and the moment we knew it was the end, and it brought regretful memories of not being able to share the same “last” moment with my father. I’m glad the show offered you some sort of perspective changing closure. I pray you continue to heal and that you cherish all the wonderful memories you have of your mom.

  4. Anita
    March 7, 2017 / 9:49 pm

    I too didn’t get a chance to say goodbye to my Mother. After surgery for her heart, we had to make the hard decision to place her in a nursing home after rehabilitation and move her from Pa to Ohio near us. I visited with my Mother every single day that she spent in the facility or the hospital. The one day I stayed home because I was sick was a Saturday, and she passed early that Sunday morning! I felt so guilty for many years until I realized that my Mother was such a loving, giving, thoughtful person that I knew she wouldn’t have wanted us there when she passed over. Its been 15+ years since then, and there’s not a day that passes that I don’t miss her.